A Time For Us (Forbidden Love)

A Time For Us
song by Nino Rota

A time for us someday there'll be
When chains are torn by courage born of a love that's free
A time when dreams so long denied
Can flourish as we unveil the love me now must hide

A time for us at last to see
A life worthwhile for you and me

And with our love through tears and thorns
We will endure as we pass surely through every storm
A time for us someday there'll be
A new world, a world of shining hope for you and me

A time for us at last to see
A life worthwhile for you and me

And with our love through tears and thorns
We will endure as we pass surely through every storm
A time for us someday there'll be
A new world, a world of shining hope for you and me


Un giorno sa, per noi verra
La liberta di amarci qui senza limiti
E fiorira il sogno a noi negato
Si svelera l'amor celato ormai
Un giorno sai, per vivere

La vita che ci sfugge qui
L'amore in noi superera
Gli ostacoli e le maree delle avversita
E ci sara anche per noi nel mondo
Un tempo in cui l'amore vincera
Per te per me

L'amore in noi superera
Gli ostacoli e le maree delle avversita
E ci sara anche per noi nel mondo
Un tempo in cui l'amore vincera
Un tempo in cui l'amore vincera

Love is something that we can't avoid in life. It sometimes just hits us like a bullet and we won't even know it hit us. We'll only realize it until we feel the pain.
One of the things that hurts most about love is when there are so many hindrances. People telling you that he/she isn't the right person for you or that you should just forget about him/her because you two don't look good together. It sometimes makes you want to stand up to the person who's saying that and say "Well, too bad for you because I love him/her! You can't dictate what my heart is saying. I don't care if we don't look good together! All I know is that I love him/her and that's all that matters!" Although sometimes we choke before even getting to say anything. But you'll notice one thing when you're in love. You'll notice that whenever you're with that person, both of you will feel like all of your worries are gone. You'll completely forget about the other people who are against you two because there's only the two of you in the world.
Why should we let anyone tell us that the person we chose wasn't right for us? Yes, they might be right, but they could be wrong too. How would they know if God has chosen that person for you? They're not all-knowing, so we shouldn't let them get us down.

To those who have gotten their hearts broken, don't go saying that that would be the last time you'll fall in love. There are over a billion people in this world who will cherish you and care for you more than the person who hurt you. Getting hurt is just part of the lives given to us by God. Nothing is perfect. If everything was perfect then we'd totally forget about our Almighty Creator. If the person you loved hurt you, then that means he/she isn't the person that God has fated for you. Remember, there's a time for everything. Let's just be patient. Don't let love kill you, and don't become an EMO because of it.


~FORBIDDEN LOVE~
poem by Isabelle Natasha Torres
This is for you HeartKeeper.

They don't understand...
They keep thinking of ways to separate us.
But they will never succeed.
We will walk through this world with courage in our hearts.
Love will never fade as long as there is faith.

Who are they to dictate our hearts?
Who are they, the ones who keep tearing us apart?
Do they not know that we live because of love?
The love of the Son of our God from above?

They have made this more complicated for us.
It was already complicated before.
Now, we are not allowed to speak with one another.
They have put a barrier between us.
They have made this a forbidden love.

When there is only you and me,
We're in a world that they could never see.
But time is short in our paradise
As other people roll the dice.

It is a risk for us to be seen together in public.
Both of us would have to pay a price.
But I would gladly pay this price no matter what,
Even if my own life was the sacrifice.

Someday, we'll find a way
So that this forbidden love would go away.
For love is something very rare
If your heart you do not learn share.

God will find a way,
When there seems to be no way.
Let us face this world hand-in-hand,
As we walk through this cruel land.

Oh, forbidden love, I beg of you,
Stop being forbidden for us two.

Forbidden Love, we plead that you will never stay
And with the doves, please, fly away.

When You Say You Love Me

When You Say You Love Me
By Josh Groban

Like the sound of silence calling
I hear your voice and suddenly I'm falling
Lost in a dream
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting
You say those words, my heart stops beating
I wonder what it means
What could it be that comes over me
At times I can't move
At times I can't hardly breathe

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

You're the one I've always thought of
I don't know how but I feel sheltered in your love
You're where I belong
And when you're with me if I close my eyes
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time
Somewhere between
The heavens and earth I'm frozen in time
Oh when you say those words

When you say you love me
The world goes still so still inside
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

And this journey that we're on
How far we've come and I
Celebrate every moment
When you say you love me
That's all you have to say
I'll always feel this way

When you say you love me
The world goes still so still inside and
when you say you love me In that moment, I know why I'm alive

When you say you love me
When you say you love me
Do you know how I love you?


Dearest HeartKeeper,

I dedicate this song to you and to our love. This is how I feel whenever you say you love me. Though we can't be together at all times, I just want you to know that you are always in my heart. But I can't always have you in my mind. If I told you that you were the one I always thought of, then I would be lying. Because no person can keep someone in his/her thoughts all the time. We all have our problems to think about too. I don't know if I have ever crossed your mind. I know you have your family and your friends to think about. But me? Well, all I know is that you should put your family first before anyone else.

Though I haven't made any great contributions to the book of your life, I'm still hoping that you would never forget me in the case that I would have to go away. I feel that that day is soon to come. We would have to go our separate ways. We would not be able to see each other for so long a time. Although I have a fear that you might fall in love with somebody else once I'm gone, I still trust you with my life. But if ever that happened, then may God forgive me for what I might do. I will not hurt you nor your new lover, but I would gladly pierce my heart with a knife to end all the suffering. But... I trust you enough to even let you guide me through a maze of death and never fear that you would abandon me to save your own life.

Our love is forbidden. As we venture through this cruel world, there will always be hindrances around every corner. There will always be people who are against us being together, people who would do anything to separate us. But no. We will never let that happen. Together, I know we can defeat these hindrances hand-in-hand because we have our loving God to guide us through every step of the way. I know that He has blessed me with you, and you with me. I am confident that you are the one that God has fated for me. I know our love will last 'til the end of time as long as we remain faithful to each other, and faithful to God.

My dear, I have loved you then, I still love you now, and I will continue on loving you 'til my last breath.

Love,
OceanMist

POST UPDATE (APRIL 3, 2010):

I can't believe I was this obsessed with him. I just can't believe it! Remind me to never put anymore dedications on any of my posts AGAIN!

You don't care?

"I don't care" he said.

It all started one night, January 25 to be precise. I opened my instant messenger using my mobile phone. I wanted to see if anyone had sent me an instant message. There were no messages. I almost closed my messenger. But when I saw one of my online friends, I decided to send him an instant message. I can't tell you his real name, so let's just call him Cheesecake*.
Okay, so I sent Cheesecake a message containing only one word... "expulsion." Why did I send him this message? Well, it was because I had a problem related to that word and whenever I had a problem, I wanted Cheesecake to know about it. His reply was a simple "Huh?" That's when I told him what my problem was. Okay, okay, I'll tell you guys what that problem was.

At my school, some first year students were being cruel, lying tattle-tails. Why? Because they told our principal that some of the second year students from the second section were hurting them or being mean to them, which, of course, wasn't true! None of us, the second year students, have ever been mean to any first year students. We treated them like we would any other student. We treated them like our FELLOW students with respect. But did they do the same thing? NO! The bad thing about this was that the teachers were taking the first year's side. I didn't understand why the teachers wouldn't heed the second year students and why the first year students would even do such a thing in the first place! But what I couldn't believe more was that the second section's adviser didn't even try to defend them. She took the 1st year's side! After much conflict, the Discipline Committee decided that the second year students would be given a punishment. Want to know what this punishment was? Their punishment was that they were not allowed to enroll in our school for the next school year.

While I was telling this to Cheesecake, I couldn't help myself but cry. It was too bad he couldn't see me. I told him that it was so hard to "narrate" a story when on mobile and that it was his fault because he didn't reply to my text messages anymore. He told me that he didn't have regular load, and I respected that, but I was infuriated at the message that came after. He said "friend mo lang naman pala eh (It's only your friend)." I guess he thought that only one of them might not be able to enroll for 3rd year. But that wasn't the reason I was angry. I was angry because he said that it was ONLY my friend. Well, for his information, I value every single one of my friends. Then I told him that it wasn't only one of my friends but eight. He didn't reply for a while, so I waited. And after that "while" was done, he replied with "I don't care." Those three words hit me like a bullet. It tore me apart to think that he didn't care. He made me so mad that I sent him two text message telling him how I felt about those words. And no, there were no bad words included. I just called him a heartless jerk.

I guess only time can tell if we'll ever make-up.

*The reason why I wanted to call this guy "Cheesecake" was because I heard news on the radio about the LARGEST CHEESECAKE in the world! What? I love cheesecakes!


~I don't care... but I secretly do~

This is a story that just popped up my head. It is in no way related to what happened between me and Cheesecake. But I decided to use the real story for the beginning of this fictional one. So, well, I guess we can say that it's somehow related to what really happened, because I'm using some portions of it for this one that I made-up. Oh, you get the picture!

The dialogue in dark red are "my" words. And the ones in a lighter shade of red are Eric's (fictional).

It all started one day when my friend Eric and I were having an argument about something that happened at school.


"I can't believe this is happening!"
"Don't bother. They're just your friends"
"Just my friends? And I suppose you're thinking that you're not one them?"
"No. I know I'm one of them. But you shouldn't fuzz about it. You're not the one getting expelled."
"That's not my point! My friends are important to me. I'd gladly sacrifice my life if ever they were in any trouble. And besides, it's not just one. There are eight of them!"
"Eight? hm mm... I don't care."
"How could you not care?!"
"Dunno. I just don't care."
"Oh, so does that mean you wouldn't care if I left?!"
"hm.. Yeah!"
"What do you care about then?"
"My life."
"Oh, great. Now you're just being selfish."
"I don't care"

I was angry and upset. I couldn't stand it anymore so I decided to change the topic. Maybe in that I way I could keep him from saying those three words again. But I would soon prove myself wrong.

"So Eric, your grades at school are dropping. I think you're becoming distracted with those computer games you've been playing."
"I don't care."
"Um, I heard your mom got promoted on her job."
"I don't care."
"hm, well, I..."

Before I could even finish my statement, he suddenly butted in and said:

"Look, Isabelle, I don't care, okay?! So will you please stop?!"

I was speechless. I couldn't do anything but stare at him. I was about to cry, but I remembered that I made a promise that I wouldn't let anyone see me crying again.

"Okay. I've stopped."
"Good."
"So I guess you wouldn't care if I died now."

Eric murmured something inaudible. But before he could say anything, I ran off so that he wouldn't see me crying. The thing I said about dying was just something that popped into my mind. I wasn't going to commit suicide. But as I was crossing the street, I was completely lost in thought. So many things were running through my head. I didn't notice that there was this speeding car quickly approaching me. I thought I was going to die. I saw my whole life flash before my eyes. But I didn't get hit by the car. I was saved. I was saved by Eric! He pushed me out of the way. So instead of me getting hit by the car, Eric was the one who got hit.
As soon as this happened, I immediately called the local emergency hot line.

I was beside Eric as he was laying unconscious in the hospital. He had casts on his right arm and left leg. I felt so stupid. How could I let this happen to my friend. Then he woke up. I wanted to hug him, but I restrained myself from doing so because he might get hurt even more. I started to cry when I saw him opening his eyes. I was happy that he was still alive. Then he said something that would forever leave a mark in my heart.

"I care."

Hearing those words made me cry tears of joy. I gave him a kiss and told him to go back to sleep. And I was watching him sleep, I thought to myself:

"So this little twerp does know how to care."

~The End~

Elen Sila Lumenn Omentielvo

Here's another one of my dreams. The title I used for this dream is an Elvish phrase meaning "A star shines on the hour of our meeting." O.K, so it's not really a phrase.
This dream has an ending. And guess who the male leading star is. That's right, Alpha AC.
This dream is very strange because for some reason it has a prolouge even though it was just a short dream.

note: All dialogue in blue were originally spoken in Filipino.


~Prolouge~

It was night time. I was at a resort with my family. I went to the swimming pool because the sight of water could relax me. Why did I need relaxation? Because I was so tense at finding out that Alpha AC's family was staying at that resort as well!
When I finally reached the pool, there was a commotion. The pool was so dirty, and there were dead fishes floating. Amidst all the water was a young girl. With the touch of her hands, the fishes were alive again. Then her big brother jumped to the water and it was suddenly clean. I was so amazed by those two. I felt a sudden feel of calmness rushing through my veins.
The people all left and I was the only one standing near the pool. The cleanliness of the water reflected the beautiful light of the moon. It was so serene. I was relaxed so I decided to go to my room. While walking, I was singing a tune. When I almost reached my room, I saw Alpha AC outside his room looking at the moon. It was then that I realized that we were next-room neighbors. Although I felt a little tense at seeing him, I didn't fuzz about it. When he saw me, he gave me a warm smile and we both went into our rooms.


~Story~

Our vacation was over. We had to go back to school. I couldn't concentrate while walking to my classroom. I was thinking about Alpha AC and the way he smiled at me back at the resort.

It was our recess time. Once again, I saw Alpha AC with his friends. When I saw them, I turned my head down. When they passed, I walked with pride once more as if I didn't even notice them. Then I noticed BFG was missing. I looked for her but she wasn't there. I guess she didn't leave our classroom. So I just hanged out with my other friends.
I was standing near Alpha AC and his friends. GemStone was holding my legs which made me trip when I tried to walk. But instead of getting mad at GemStone, I laughed at what happened. Then Alpha AC touched my hair. It was another one of my "OMG Alpha AC" moments. I looked at him. I blushed. He approached me and said
"Issa, how come whenever you see me you turn your head down? Do you hate me?"
"No. I don't hate you. It's just that I get shy whenever you're around." Me to Alpha AC.
BrownieEmoJor nodded his head. "Will you please stay away from this?!" said Alpha AC. "Ok, ok" said JerBrenMor. So Alpha AC's friends left.
Alpha AC and I were looking at each other in the eyes. Then he put his cheeks on mine. And whenever we spoke to each other, there were moments that I felt that our lips touched. "Hey, maybe you guys should go over here. You two are so exposed over there!" said BasMar. She was right, we really were too exposed over there. So Alpha AC and I went to the spot where BasMar was pointing at and continued our conversation. Then suddenly "Alpha AC! Where are you?!" It was his dad! I felt nervous because he might have seen us together. But luckily, we escaped.
The two of us went to a different place so that we could have a more private conversation.* And again, he put his cheeks on mine. Then I remembered a comment he gave to a girl on friendster.

"I thought you said you liked one of your classmates?" I said
"Huh? No!" said Alpha AC
"Then why did you tell me that?"
"Because I didn't want you to know the truth just yet"
"Huh?"
"I love you."

I couldn't do anything but stare at him. Then he kissed me on the lips. "Alpha AC, let's go. We might be late for our next subject." I said.
While we were going to our rooms, he was holding my hand the whole way through.


*That private place was one the rooms of the Pasig Community School. That's where I studied when I was in elementary.


So that's another one of my Issa-Alpha AC dreams.
The reason I used that elvish phrase as my title is because there was a bright star in the sky when I saw Alpha AC outside his room in the resort.

My Heart Will Always be With You

Here's another one of my strange dreams. I dreamt about this on the night of October 14, 2008. I still don't know why I didn't post this at that time, but it suddenly hit me that I should put it here on blog right now! The only problem with this dream is that it was cut! My mom woke me up before I even finished the dream! But it's ok. Maybe I'll dream about the next part... or not...

note: All dialogue in green were originally said in Filipino.

It all started one day when I was at school. It was Saturday. We, the members of the broadway production, were there to practice. No one except us was supposed to be there. After some intense practicing, I decided to go to the 3rd floor of the old building. I explored a bit and found myself infront of my former classroom from when I was still in the 1st year. I was in the first section back then... I-Ruby. Our room was the last room to the left of the building. Room 312. When I went inside the room, I saw (I won't mention his real name) Alpha AC with his friends. Although I felt shy to approach (Alpha AC being my former crush), I raised my courage and asked them what they were doing there. One of them said that it was Alpha AC's "home." I felt so confused and looked at them quizzically. I asked them why they called it his home, then Alpha AC said "Let's go." They were about to leave, but I stopped them. I took Alpha AC's hands, looked him straight in the eyes, and asked him why again. He told me that he always went there whenever his parents had an argument, and that he would stay there until his parents have solved their problem. Hearing this, I let go of his hands and they left.

A few hours later and it was lunch time. I was eating with BFG (codename again) in the CAT room. After eating, BFG, BroadPartner (another codename), and I planned on going to the gym to watch the "Bandorama." The Bandorama was a social gathering of all bands in the Philippines, populars, amateurs, and the like. When we finally reached the gym, I had this strange feeling, and (I know this is gonna sound strange) when we entered the doors to the gym we were outside! Some place away from our school. And what's even stranger is that BFG and BroadPartner seemed like they didn't know that we were already in our school just a few moments ago! Why? Because BFG told me that we should commute to get to our school. I wanted to speak, but I decided not to. It was so weird, but I had to go with the flow of things.

While going to our school, BrownieEmoJor (codename), one of Alpha AC's friends, sent me a text message telling me the description of their outfits*. I wanted to reply, but unfortunately, I didn't have any load. So I just kept on walking with BFG and BroadPartner.
I was silent the whole way while my two companions were having a conversation. I had my thoughts set on Alpha AC that time. Then, with the blink of an eye, it suddenly turned dark! Again, BFG and BroadPartner didn't notice. They just kept on talking! Then suddenly, I burst out saying "When we go home, we need to ride a taxi because my father says so. The only problem is I can't afford it." "How can you not afford it? You're the daughter of the Vice President?" says BroadPartner. I answered him "Just because I'm the V.P's daughter I can afford that?!." I was offended! I didn't want to show my anger so I just cried.

I walked alone, still crying. And these men who saw me crying insulted me saying "Miss, are you a cry-baby?". This made me feel even more offended which made me cry even more. Then suddenly, my twisted fate lead me to Alpha AC once again. He saw me crying and wiped off my tears. Alpha AC was wearing a black emo outfit. I told him that it didn't suit him. Then, without saying a word he took my hand and removed the ringˆ I was wearing and put it on me again.
I stared at him and said
"Kuya Alpha AC..."
"What?" said Alpha AC
"Um..."
"Didn't I tell you not to call me kuya anymore?"

I don't know why but I suddenly blushed. Being too shy, I slipped. It made me blush even more. I felt so clumsy. Then, JerBrenMor (codename), Alpha AC's best friend, leaned down over me and reached his hands to me. But instead of actually helping me, he said in a loud voice (so that Alpha AC could here) "Isn't anyone going to help?" Hearing this, Alpha AC reached out his hand and helped me up. But even though I was already standing up he didn't let go of my hand. He said to me that he wanted to take me home, so he took me with him. We left our friends behind, but we never turned back to look at them.
Alpha AC and I road on a jeepney. We arrived at a beautiful estate, but its beauty was destroyed by some of the people there. There were bullies, mean-looking Black Americans, and weird looking, drunk men. Alpha AC held my hand tighter and kept me closer to him. The weird looking people were staring at me while Alpha AC and I were walking to the elevator. I looked up and saw even more of those mean-looking men on the 4th floor. I wanted to tell Alpha AC this, but no words came out of my mouth. I couldn't speak. I was afraid.
When we were inside the elevator, Alpha AC was holding me even closer to him as if he was trying to protect me from something. I couldn't stand his silence anymore so I asked him "Kuya Alpha AC, I mean, Alpha AC, why do you seem so worried?" He didn't answer, but when the elevator doors opened he said "Because I care about you." When we got out of the elevator, Alpha AC's face turned pale. Then I remembered that we were on the 4th floor! The same floor I saw those frightening men. "It's the chinese! Alpha AC." said one of the men in a mocking voice.

"I think we should go" I said to Alpha AC
"Find somewhere to hide" said Alpha AC
"But..."
"Issa... if I die, my soul and my heart will always be with you."

Hearing those words made me cry. I couldn't move. Alpha AC charged to the men and fought them with all his might. I couldn't stand it! One high school student against so many men...

*BrownieEmoJor said that he and JerBrenMor were wearing black. Alpha AC was wearing black as well, but it was stained with blood!

ˆThe ring I was wearing was a gold ring given to me by my aunt. But in this dream, Alpha AC was the one who gave me the ring.

Well, that's the end of it. Makes you want to keep coming back for more, right? I wish I knew how my dream ended... hmm...

Love

"1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

~ 1 Corinthians 13